Another Chapter
It has come to an end, not my career as a photojournalist, but my time with Zaobao. I have entered the profession as a young photographer, chasing dreams of seeing the world, hoping to photograph life as it plays out in front of me, knowing that a true photojournalist has to put his/her emotions to the test as he lifts the camera to his eye. I never thought about making it rich ever since I step into this field. I wanted not just to see the world, but to feel, to witness, to narrate, to make sense of, and to report on conflicts, catastrophes and to be in trying situations, to feel alive. Every day shall be a new adventure, no more Monday blues, no more paper work or meeting. I had enough of that for 2 years as an airport project engineer. I had decided that this will be my profession during my first year of undergraduate studies while on a scholarship. Thoughts of breaking my scholarship bond came to mind, but it was too expensive and I knew getting a staff position at a newspaper would be almost impossible.
2 months of serving tables at a cafe and 2 months of internship at The Straits Times allowed me buy my first film SLR, then Im off to Vietnam, my first backpacking trip with my Buddy, BT. It was an adventure, and the movie "The Motorcycle Diaries" also reminded me of that period of my life. I had a buddy, we shared a motorbike, and we love to take pictures. Little did I know that it is also the period that will have the greatest influence on my life, not just my career.
I completed my studies with a 2nd Upper class honours (Good enough to meet the scholarship requirement), without ever wanting to become an engineer. I just have to fulfill my obligations, and not make my parents pay for my education. It came as a shock, a pleasant one, when I was told that I as not required to serve my bond. The next day, I wrote to the Straits Times picture editor, hoping to get a staff position as a photojournalist. It was 2 years after 9/11 then, and apprarently the economy wasn't picking up, and there was no vacancy.
I had to get a job, and wait for the right time to try again. It was to be a 2 years wait (as an airport engineer), then I got another job as a project engineer, this time with JTC. Both will add up nicely to my resume, if I were to stay on as an engineer. I stayed 3 months at JTC and left once the offer from Zaobao came along. I was just trying my luck when I wrote in to enquire. A staff photographer, Bob had transfered out to another paper. Luck was on my side. I remembered that it was a Friday, and I was walking to a meeting with contractors with long-sleeved shirt and pants, when I received the call. I think I was smiling and half-listening throughout the meeting, and thinking that I would not have to wear sleeves and pants anymore.
From then, my 5.5 years with Zaobao began. I was still young, ambitious and full of drive. I got my first issued camera, a beat-up Canon Mark 2 (from Bob), but still does it job well. I was the youngest at Zaobao for 3 years, and took on more assignments and initiative, some self-initiated ones than others. I never doubted my performance and never screwed up once. It reaches the point when I look at the others around me, and thought, if my efforts are worthwhile. There was no competition, no pressure to excel. I became fairly comfortable with the pace, which was easy. Then I have too much time on my hands, and began looking at something else to do off-work. At the same time, I was dis-illusioned. This is not what I had wanted to do. One good, challenging assignment came around occasionally, but most time, we were shooting according to the requirements of the paper or the few decision-makers: simple, straight-forward, and don't rock the boat too much. We were assuming that our readers want that. We were not allowed to tease their brains a little.
Most time, when I had a great shot, which can only happen if I was assigned to an interesting assignment, got the shot, and passed through layers of scrutiny by my supervisors, photo-editor, sub-editors, and senior editor. To make it big and on the front page requires the story to be of page-one value. No great picture can make it to the front on its own, then there was the cropping, which can either enhance, or destroy the picture. Most time, I was disappointed. It became a job, and the passion was rekindled occasionally, when I was shooting for myself. I was overseas assignment twice, on my own accord, when I felt alive as a photographer. Both were sports event and made possible after some conflicts with my boss. I guess I was rocking the boat a little too much.
I made great friends at Zaobao, and grew "seasoned" as a news photographer, but there was no breakthrough. I got my monthly paycheck, but was looking for something more. At the back of my mind, I yearned to relive those moments, when photography was so much fun, when there was no formula to be followed. 5 years on, I still could not see eye to eye with my bosses. It had became a job to them, and they have stopped shooting altogether. They could not convince me with anything they said or demanded in terms of photography. My "education"in photojournalism, which were from books and magazines and a great deal from Magnum photographers, was considered unorthodox.
I am grateful that I was able to earn a living with a camera these 5 years, but I have stopped growing as a photographer, a photojournalist. Commitment, responsibility, decision-making etc were lacking, and the change which we young photographers hoped for seemed like an impossible dream. It was a paper that has fallen behind, and there was no motivation to change, to do it differently. Status quo was the best insurance and change was a dirty word. It became a locomotive running on steam, which can't go fast enough, but carry on its journey with a heavy load, on a track that bring it to the same destination. Nothing can stop it, and yet, nothing can move it off its track.
In a week's time, I will join The Straits Times. It may not be the same paper as 10 years ago, but I believe it is the right move. There will be competition and standards are high. The young and even some of the older photogs are a driven bunch, who produce photo-stories and multi-media week after week. It will be hard work, but I hope to get more satisfaction out if it. I know that some of the obstacles to having a good picture published will also be present at Straits Times, but there will be more room to explore, and more platform to showcase. I am grateful for the friendship and career-kickstart from Zaobao. I will end the same way as my letter to the editors, "I hope to be able to say proudly, that I came from ZBphoto".
2 months of serving tables at a cafe and 2 months of internship at The Straits Times allowed me buy my first film SLR, then Im off to Vietnam, my first backpacking trip with my Buddy, BT. It was an adventure, and the movie "The Motorcycle Diaries" also reminded me of that period of my life. I had a buddy, we shared a motorbike, and we love to take pictures. Little did I know that it is also the period that will have the greatest influence on my life, not just my career.
I completed my studies with a 2nd Upper class honours (Good enough to meet the scholarship requirement), without ever wanting to become an engineer. I just have to fulfill my obligations, and not make my parents pay for my education. It came as a shock, a pleasant one, when I was told that I as not required to serve my bond. The next day, I wrote to the Straits Times picture editor, hoping to get a staff position as a photojournalist. It was 2 years after 9/11 then, and apprarently the economy wasn't picking up, and there was no vacancy.
I had to get a job, and wait for the right time to try again. It was to be a 2 years wait (as an airport engineer), then I got another job as a project engineer, this time with JTC. Both will add up nicely to my resume, if I were to stay on as an engineer. I stayed 3 months at JTC and left once the offer from Zaobao came along. I was just trying my luck when I wrote in to enquire. A staff photographer, Bob had transfered out to another paper. Luck was on my side. I remembered that it was a Friday, and I was walking to a meeting with contractors with long-sleeved shirt and pants, when I received the call. I think I was smiling and half-listening throughout the meeting, and thinking that I would not have to wear sleeves and pants anymore.
From then, my 5.5 years with Zaobao began. I was still young, ambitious and full of drive. I got my first issued camera, a beat-up Canon Mark 2 (from Bob), but still does it job well. I was the youngest at Zaobao for 3 years, and took on more assignments and initiative, some self-initiated ones than others. I never doubted my performance and never screwed up once. It reaches the point when I look at the others around me, and thought, if my efforts are worthwhile. There was no competition, no pressure to excel. I became fairly comfortable with the pace, which was easy. Then I have too much time on my hands, and began looking at something else to do off-work. At the same time, I was dis-illusioned. This is not what I had wanted to do. One good, challenging assignment came around occasionally, but most time, we were shooting according to the requirements of the paper or the few decision-makers: simple, straight-forward, and don't rock the boat too much. We were assuming that our readers want that. We were not allowed to tease their brains a little.
Most time, when I had a great shot, which can only happen if I was assigned to an interesting assignment, got the shot, and passed through layers of scrutiny by my supervisors, photo-editor, sub-editors, and senior editor. To make it big and on the front page requires the story to be of page-one value. No great picture can make it to the front on its own, then there was the cropping, which can either enhance, or destroy the picture. Most time, I was disappointed. It became a job, and the passion was rekindled occasionally, when I was shooting for myself. I was overseas assignment twice, on my own accord, when I felt alive as a photographer. Both were sports event and made possible after some conflicts with my boss. I guess I was rocking the boat a little too much.
I made great friends at Zaobao, and grew "seasoned" as a news photographer, but there was no breakthrough. I got my monthly paycheck, but was looking for something more. At the back of my mind, I yearned to relive those moments, when photography was so much fun, when there was no formula to be followed. 5 years on, I still could not see eye to eye with my bosses. It had became a job to them, and they have stopped shooting altogether. They could not convince me with anything they said or demanded in terms of photography. My "education"in photojournalism, which were from books and magazines and a great deal from Magnum photographers, was considered unorthodox.
I am grateful that I was able to earn a living with a camera these 5 years, but I have stopped growing as a photographer, a photojournalist. Commitment, responsibility, decision-making etc were lacking, and the change which we young photographers hoped for seemed like an impossible dream. It was a paper that has fallen behind, and there was no motivation to change, to do it differently. Status quo was the best insurance and change was a dirty word. It became a locomotive running on steam, which can't go fast enough, but carry on its journey with a heavy load, on a track that bring it to the same destination. Nothing can stop it, and yet, nothing can move it off its track.
In a week's time, I will join The Straits Times. It may not be the same paper as 10 years ago, but I believe it is the right move. There will be competition and standards are high. The young and even some of the older photogs are a driven bunch, who produce photo-stories and multi-media week after week. It will be hard work, but I hope to get more satisfaction out if it. I know that some of the obstacles to having a good picture published will also be present at Straits Times, but there will be more room to explore, and more platform to showcase. I am grateful for the friendship and career-kickstart from Zaobao. I will end the same way as my letter to the editors, "I hope to be able to say proudly, that I came from ZBphoto".
